They say the first step to overcoming addiction is admitting you have a problem. But at MDC, we can’t always admit that our obsession with beauty products goes beyond researching for the job (we NEED to try every colored eyeliner on the market to keep our journalistic integrity, duh). So while we have recognized that maybe there are far too many mascaras in our makeup bags, and we’ve looked to our friends to take some lipsticks off of our hands, we haven’t been able to own up to the fact that we actually have an addiction to a certain beauty product that adorns our fingers every Manicure Monday – nail polish. However, in an attempt to turn over a new leaf and be role models for our readers, we’re going to take a stand. We’ll be the voice for all of you ladies who have dropped hundreds of dollars on your nail polish collection. We’ll be the first to say, “Hello, our name is Makeup.com and we’re nail polish addicts.” And guess what? You might be one too. Read on for the 10 signs your nail polish addition has gone too far.
1. You refer to fabrics and other colors in daily life by the name of a nail polish instead of the actual color. Bikini so Teeny is the name of an Essie polish and should never be the name of your sofa’s upholstery color. Just sayin.
2. Your ideal job would be naming nail polish colors full time. You have this concept that everything would be right in the world if you could just put your wit to good use eight hours a day and pour out pun-intended lacquer names like poetry.
3. The bottom shelf of your refrigerator is dominated by nail polish instead of food. Yes, you’ve properly stored your nail polish for long-lasting wear, but you’ve also packed one bathroom cabinet, two shelves in your closet, and anywhere else you could possibly display a nail polish bottle. Left overs are going in the trash instead of in the fridge, because your holographic lacquers trump meat loaf any day of the week.
4. You freak out every time a new nail polish hue or texture is released even though it is the exact same color from another brand you already own. We know you’re thinking right now, “it’s a different red, I swear!” But is it? Is it really more shimmery or a slightly better red for your skin tone? No, we didn’t think so.
5. At least two nail polish bottles are in your purse at all times. There may also be a few bottles lurking around our car, although the consistency of the product is beyond questionable.
6. You make friends with people on message boards and websites and take your relationships in the digital realm a bit too far by defriending women because you’ve seen the way they polish their nails, and well, it isn’t pretty. If only they knew how to revive a manicure, then you two would still be enjoying online scrabble sessions.
7. You spend hours color coding your collection only to realize that you’ve put the pinks next to the greens and need to start again. On round two, you notice that you own three bottles of the exact same color by the same brand. We’re hoping there was a sale or these colors were each gifted to you.
8. Drake’s song Fancy was your anthem for at least the last two years because the lyrics “Nails done, hair done, everything did” might as well have been written about you. It’s ok honey, blast that song on your stereo – there is no shame in owning that track and maybe even compiling a playlist of songs focused on our pretty little tips.
9. The number of dotting tools and striping brushes you own rivals the amount of shoes and handbags in your closet.
10. After washing your hands you immediately apply top coat, because a girl has to maintain her shine! And why not make sure chipped nails aren’t in your near future – chipped polish on a Friday night is comparable to watching your favorite TV character get killed off. Everyone better stay out of your way because there will be tears or there will be drama.
Are you a nail polish addict? Tell us which sign speaks most to you in the comments below. Don’t worry, we won’t judge.