Haters Gonna Hate: 10 Ways to Use Haters As Fuel for Success

Upon reaching a certain level of success, there will almost certainly be haters that enter your life. These are people that either fundamentally do not believe in your values or, more likely, are jealous of your accomplishments.

It is easy to let these people get you down. Understandably, we don’t like when others are mean to us or don’t like us. The reality, though, is that having these haters around us is almost inevitable, especially true upon achieving success. Therefore, the options are to either let them affect you or to take advantage of the situation.

Here are 10 ways that you can take advantage by using your haters as fuel for your success:

1. Understand that it means you are doing things right.

The emergence of haters is a signal that you have achieved a certain level of success. If you have not accomplished anything, then, almost certainly, nobody would be paying enough attention to give you criticism.

When there are people hating on you and what you do, then it is a sign that you are on the path toward success. Use this sign as a validation that you have been doing the right types of things.

2. Learn from their attitudes to be more accepting of others.

Seeing the ways in which people negatively treat you can teach you how to be more accepting of others. Instead of mimicking your haters’ actions toward other people, do the opposite. You will develop empathy for what it is like to receive flack.

Then, when you see others in similar boats as you, you can provide support and motivation. This will both help others and allow you to develop meaningful relationships with successful people.

3. Use their criticism as a way to evaluate yourself.

Although a lot of criticism can be rooted in jealousy, there are times when certain criticisms are well-founded. You should not take the hate that you get to heart, but you should listen to what others have to say. At certain times, it can help you become a better person.

If you are working on a project that is environmentally harmful, for example, and you had not realized it, then listening to your haters can give you an important perspective to consider.

4. Be more humble.

You can use criticism as a lesson to take the high road. There will be situations when you can either fight back with others or you can do the right thing. You might be much more accomplished than those that are giving you a hard time.

That being said, you should be humble in your responses. There is no need to brag or try to validate yourself further. Instead, trust your own instinct and respond in a humble, respectful manner.

5. Use them to learn how to deal with conflict.

Dealing with your haters is also a great opportunity to better handle conflict. You could be put in challenging situations, with someone calling you out in a big way on social media or at an event.

Use these experiences as opportunities to learn to navigate conflict. Sometimes you can just take the high road but, in other situations, the response needs to be more nuanced.

6. Learn to control your anger.

Managing anger is also a great challenge in life. People might say things to you that invoke high levels of anger for a variety of reasons. Instead of lashing back, learn to respond calmly.

Take advantage of all the negative words and actions you might be victim to. If you can stay composed in these high-pressure or anxiety-provoking situations, then you will learn to control your anger. Doing so will pay off countless times throughout life.

7. Use them to learn how to ignore negative influences.

There are going to be many negative people in your life. Worrying about their opinions of you will only make you worse off. We cannot get everyone to like us. Therefore, haters serve as a great group to learn this lesson.

We feel even less of an urge to get them to like us compared to people we might know better. Learning to accept that not everyone is going to like you will enable you to focus your attention on the things that matter more. These include being present, challenges at hand, and working to become a better person.

8. Utilize them to become more independent thinking.

You might receive deeply personal insults that attack your beliefs or character. That said, you do not have to conform to anybody else’s beliefs. Instead, you should be proud of what makes you unique.

Learning to love yourself for who you are will enable you to live a more independent-thinking life. That will lead to greater levels of satisfaction and accomplishment.

9. Allow them to motivate you.

Others might tell you that your self-employed business will never succeed or that you will never accomplish your goals. You can use these negative responses as motivation to succeed. You do not need to prove anything to anybody.

That said, if it will motivate you to know that upon your achievements, you will be able to quiet the haters, then take advantage of that, and use it as motivation to work harder.

10. Appreciate your victories.

Haters can also be a great way to better appreciate your victories. Accomplishing something after many people told you that you would not be able to is a great feeling.

You should be proud of what you are able to achieve throughout your life. Your haters can serve as a reminder to appreciate these victories and be grateful for all the good you are fortunate to have.

Source:

https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/308567

Top 7 Tips for How to Be Happy

Here are our top tips for how to find true and lasting happiness in daily life:

1. Let go of negativity.

  • Learn to forgive and forget.

  • See every challenge as an opportunity for further growth.

  • Express gratitude for what you have.

  • Be more optimistic about the future and your ability to accomplish life goals.

  • Open yourself up to success and embrace failures or mistakes that happen along the way.

  • Know that none of us are perfect, we are all here to entertain and be entertained.

  • Don’t worry about the little things. Take plenty of “worry vacations” where you train your mind not to worry for a certain lengths of time.

  • If you want to be more positive, surround yourself with positive energy and people. Nurture the positive relationships that you have, seeking out more of those relationships that help uplift you.

  • Accept and love yourself for the unique gifts and talents that you bring to life. Spend less time trying to please others and spend more time trying to please your higher self.

  • See the humor in life and in our experiences. Take life less seriously and learn to laugh at yourself.

2. Serve and be kind to others.

  • Treat everyone with kindness. Not only does it help others to feel better, but you will notice that you too feel good after having a positive interaction with others.

  • Speak well of others. When you speak negatively of others you will attract more negativity to yourself, but when you speak positively of others, you will attract more positivity.

  • Truly listen to others. Be present and mindful to what others are really saying when they speak. Support them without bringing yourself into it.

  • Be careful with your words. Speak gentler, kinder, and wiser.

  • Respect others and their free will.

  • Put your trust in others and be trusted in return. Enjoy the sense of community and friendship that comes from this openness and faith in one another.

  • Work as part of a whole. See others as partners in your efforts. Unite your efforts with them to create a synergy more powerful than anything you could do alone.

  • Practice generosity and giving without expecting anything in return. Get involved with service opportunities and offer what you can to a greater cause.

  • Smile more– to family, to co-workers, to neighbors, to strangers– and watch it not only change how you feel but also how they feel too.

3. Live in the present.

  • Don’t replay negative events or worry about the future.

  • Accept and celebrate impermanence. Be grateful for your life, for each moment of every day. Observe the constant and natural flow of change that surrounds us, and your small yet important part of the natural, divine flow of life.

  • Observe yourself in the moment. Work on your reactions to outer circumstances and learn how to approach life harmoniously.

4. Choose a healthy lifestyle.

  • Keep a daily routine. Wake up at the same time every morning, preferably early. Setting yourself to a natural biorhythm will make it easier to wake up and feel energized.

  • Get enough sleep. Proper sleep is linked to positive personality characteristics like optimism, improved self-esteem, and even problem-solving.

  • Expose yourself to cold temperatures (especially first thing in the morning with perhaps a cold shower). It increases your circulation, helps minimize inflammation in the body, enhances weight loss, and energizes and invigorates you to start your day.

  • Turn off the TV. For every hour of TV you watch, you reduce 22 minutes of your life expectancy.

  • Eat properly. What you eat has a direct effect on your mood and energy levels. Eat plenty of organic, locally grown fruits and vegetables, nuts, whole grains, and dairy products that are both vitamin and mineral-infused. Don’t overeat and try to practice healthy self-control.

  • Exercise daily to the point of sweating. It not only helps to purify the body, but also releases endorphins which help to prevent stress, relieve depression, and positively improve your mood.

  • Laugh more. Laughter is the best medicine. Like exercise, it releases endorphins that battle the negative effects of stress and promote a sense of well-being and joy.

  • Practice deep breathing and yoga. The body and mind are connected. Emotions affect the physical systems in the body, and the state of the body also affects the mind. By relaxing and releasing tension through the breath or yoga practice you feel calmer and centered throughout the day.

5. Take care of your spirit.

  • Strive to always learn new things. Constantly expand your awareness and discover new ways of expressing your divine gifts.

  • Get creative. This will not only challenge you to learn new things but will also help to keep your mind in a positive place. Practice living in the present moment and being a channel for the divine flow of creativity.

  • Practice meditation. Research has proven that even as little as 10 minutes of meditation a day can lead to physical changes in the brain that improve concentration and focus, calm the nervous system, and help you to become more kind and compassionate, and even more humorous. Then bring the joy and peace you receive from meditation into your daily life and activity.

  • Be honest. Telling the truth keeps you free inside, builds trust in relationships, and improves your will power and the ability to attract success.

  • Surrender to the Universe Divine and allow it to take care of the littlest things in life to the greatest and most important.

6. Be inwardly free.

  • Live minimally and simply. Often extravagant living brings more stress, not more satisfaction.

  • De-clutter your home to de-clutter your mind. Clutter is an often unrecognized source of stress that promotes feelings of anxiety, frustration, distraction, and guilt. Feel good in your own home. Make it your sanctuary by keeping it clean, organized, and uplifting.

  • Go without certain things you think you need. Travel to new places where not everything is as easily accessible or readily available, and learn to appreciate what you have by expanding your world.

  • Take some time away from life’s complicated outer involvements to get to know your family, your neighbors, and your loved ones better; and to get to know yourself.

7.  Reconnect with Nature.

  • Take some time every week to recharge your body battery. On the weekend, escape to nature or a place where you can feel peace in time for a fresh start to the workweek.

  • Get outside whenever possible to breathe in the fresh air and feel the sunshine. Both of which studies have shown to have a positive effect on our health and our mood.

  • Take some time to be silent. Be silent and calm every night for at least 10 minutes (longer if possible) and again in the morning before rising. This will produce an unbreakable habit of inner happiness to help you meet challenges in life.

  • Observe the natural beauty that surrounds you and feel a sense of connection. Appreciate the details and miracles that can be found in nature.

Taking the Next Steps to Finding Happiness:

Ask yourself what makes you happy, and find ways to restructure your life so that you are able to do more of those things.

Then ask why you struggle to do the things that you know will make you happy. Why are you not yet happy? Why haven’t you taken the next steps to find your happiness? Why are you here? And what do you need to do to feel a sense of accomplishment in this life?

Visualize yourself happy, doing the things that will bring you inner and outer success in life and write down the things you need to do to create a Happiness Bucket List. Start with the little things you know you can do each day that will bring you joy. Then move on to accomplish greater and greater things on your happiness bucket list.

Source:

Top 7 Tips for How to Be Happy

Negative people are like black holes. here’s how to deal with them.

 

11 tips on how to deal with negative people

Negative people. They’re like human black holes who suddenly come out of nowhere and just suck the life out of you. You try to stay positive and remain strong but their negativity ends up just completely draining you, you feel exhausted, and you may also start to feel depressed too.

So what can you do? One of the first things to do is to be aware of who the negative people are in your life. This may not be as easy as you first think.

Some very nice people are as Judy Orloff says in her book, “Positive Energy” are really energy vampires. Here are some of the signs she says to look for:

“- you experience a sense of being demeaned, constricted or attacked.
– you intuitively feel unsafe, tense or on guard.
– you sense prickly, off-putting vibes. You can’t wait to get away from them.
– your energy starts to fizzle. You may feel beleaguered or ill.”

She also refers to them by the following names which you might recognize: the sob sister, the blamer, the drama queen, the constant talker or joke teller, and the fixer-upper (requires endless help).

Also, pay attention to what the person talks about. Is it always about how bad things are? Do they just complain and never actually do anything about what’s upsetting them?

Once you have a good idea on how to recognize them then you can actually work on protecting yourself from them. Here are 11 strategies on how to deal with negative people:

1. Where’s it coming from?
Do you understand why this person is so negative? Is it because they hate their job, feel frustrated, feel trapped in their life or do they lack in self-esteem so the only way they can feel powerful is by hurting others? If you can understand where it’s coming from, it’s much easier to deal with. Some people seem to think that the only way they can get what they want is to be manipulative. Remember the saying, “the squeaky wheel gets the oil.” They believe this and think that if they don’t whine and complain that they won’t be heard and that this is the only way to get what they want.

Remember that negative behavior is a reflection of them. It tells you what kind of person they are and what issues they may be dealing with. It’s not a reflection of who you are.

2. Just smile and remain completely detached
Whenever the negative tirade starts just smile and don’t say anything. Remain completely detached from it and don’t get involved in it. Leave the room if you can. Some negative people are simply seeking to get a reaction from you. That’s what they feed on. Don’t let them catch you in their web of negativity because as soon as you do, that’s when they start draining your energy.

It’s the emotions that these negative people stir up in you that you need to learn to distance yourself from. Try just observing the whole scene. Say to yourself, “what a shame this person is so unhappy. Maybe some of my positive energy will rub off on her. If not, her unhappiness has nothing to do with me.” This isn’t always an easy thing to do but definitely a powerful technique. In order to get the full benefit from it, you need to make sure that you’re aware of what’s going on around you. It’s easy to slip into auto-pilot and not realize until later how drained you feel. You need to detach yourself from the event while it’s happening and just observe it.

This works well for family members who you don’t really have a choice as to whether they’re in your life or not.

3. Say, “Now tell me something positive.” 
If the negative person is someone who only ever has negative things to say and can never see anything positive at all, you could try saying after they’ve finished telling you another negative story, “Now tell me a positive story” or “Tell me about something good that happened to you today.” Some people have no idea how negative they’ve become. That’s what they’re surrounded by day in and day out so it’s just become a way of life for them. By being given the reminder, they may actually realize that being negative isn’t the kind of person they want to be and may start to work on becoming more positive. Or, they may decide it’s not worth telling you their horror stories because you’ll ask them to think of something positive. Sob sisters (always whining, feel the world is against them, feel they’re victims) will probably not find you very attractive to whine to anymore because you don’t get sucked into their drama.

Some people may react by saying something like, “Nothing good happened to me today.” You can tell them, “I like to appreciate and be grateful for all the little things that happen to me every day. I got to work on time, I had a good breakfast this morning, I’m wearing my favorite shoes. I’m sure you have lots of things like that happening to you too.”

4. Imagine a bright white light surrounding you
Yes, this might sound silly at first but if you can do it, it’s amazing how much of a difference it can make. You’ll feel that their negativity can’t touch you because you now have a force field protecting you.

I used to have a really nasty manager who would constantly try to make me feel like an idiot. When I had a shower in the morning, I would imagine that I was being covered with a protective oil so that any of her comments would just slide right off me. I also put up a post-it note on my computer that said, “Oiyli” which stood for “Only if you let it”. It reminded me that her comments could only hurt me if I let them. If was my choice as to how to react to her. If I reacted to her comments, she’d gloat knowing that she’d upset me. So, the less I reacted, the less she made her comments because she didn’t get her desired response out of me.

5. Is it a sign?
I find that the “universe” uses negative people as the way to get me to move on whenever I’m getting comfortable in a situation that isn’t challenging me anymore. It’s like a prod that I should be focusing more on following my dream rather than just getting caught up in a nice, comfortable routine that isn’t getting me anywhere. If I didn’t have these people, then I would probably just stay. So, sometimes I’m really grateful to these people because they’re giving me the “kick” that I need to get out of a comfort rut. So, take the time and think about the big picture of the situation. Is it a sign that you need to make some bigger changes in your life?

6. What does it say about you?
Negative people want to get a reaction out of you and the only way they can is if they hit on one your “buttons” or something that causes intense feelings for you. For example, they may bring up past events which they know cause you to feel guilt or anger or make you feel like you’re being rejected or that you’re not good enough.

So, if there’s one particular person who drains you the most, ask yourself why is it affecting you so much? Sometimes, you can learn a lot about yourself by analyzing what feelings it’s bringing up within you. Once you figure it out and deal with it then you’ll find that the energy draining person simply has no power over you anymore.

7. Trying to feel needed
Is listening to the complaints of the negative person your way of feeling valued? Does it make you feel needed? If it does, then you need to start valuing yourself more and you’ll find that this just won’t happen anymore. Be selective about who and how you help others. Just listening to negative tales over and over helps neither of you.

A good test to see if this is happening is to notice how you feel after “helping” someone. If you feel drained or tired or annoyed or frustrated then all you’ve done is given over your own energy to them. This isn’t beneficial to you at all, and rarely does it help them in the long run.

8. Try saying, “I love you, thank you, I’m sorry” over and over 
This is kind of an “off the wall” kind of theory but it’s worth a try. If you want to read an article about how a doctor healed an entire mental institution simply by saying these words then read this story: Dr. Len.

9. It’s not your fault
You may be feeling that you have to solve the problems of the energy drainer. You’re not responsible for the person’s life nor their negativity. You don’t have to feel guilty for them being unhappy. Let go of trying to fix or help them. That’s not what they want anyway. They want your energy and so you have to be strong and not give in to them.

A suggestion by Judy Orloff for dealing with draining co-workers is to keep mentioning to the person that you have work to do and you can only listen to them for a minute. If after a few minutes, the person is still going on about the same thing then either change the conversation or politely but firmly end the conversation.

It’s important to be able to let go of the idea that you owe everyone a solution. With some people, you just have to let them go. They have to take responsibility for their own lives and they won’t if someone is always there to fix everything for them. So, Let Go! It sounds mean but it definitely doesn’t help them if they end up taking you down with them. In that case, it’s a lose-lose for both of you.

10. Be enthusiastic and focus on your own energy
If you can be higher energy than they are then your energy will most likely start to rub off on those around you instead of the other way around. Also, the less you pay attention to them, the less they’ll affect you. It takes only one person to bring down an entire office but the reverse is true as well in that it only takes one person to completely bring up the positive energy of an entire office.

Bonus Strategies

11. Try translating the message
Something I’ve noticed happening more and more often nowadays is that a lot of people seem to have lost the ability to express their opinion in a polite and constructive way. They come across as mean spirited and rude. You might dismiss their ideas believing their intent is simply to put you down. If you can strip away the aggressive and negative tone, you might see that there is a good point being made. The person simply doesn’t know how to communicate in a positive way and they don’t see that how they’re choosing to express their opinion puts the other person on the defensive instead of making their point. I’m not sure why it seems to be more common now. Some of it is probably an underlying negative attitude of that person and their environment and others may be because they’ve never been taught how to express themselves in an effective way.  If you can take the time to ignore what initially might feel like a personal attack against you, you might be able to figure out what they’re really trying to say. If you can do that, you can avoid hurt feelings and may actually achieve something positive in the process.

12. Take The Garbage Truck Pledge
David J. Pollay is the author of The Law of the Garbage Truck. His belief is that,

“Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they look for a place to dump it. And if you let them, they’ll dump it on you. So when someone wants to dump on you, don’t take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Believe me. You’ll be happier.”

You can print out a garbage truck pledge sheet on his site at:
The Law of The Garbage Truck

 

Source:

www.Life-With-Confidence.com